I prefer this Me

Its been about 3 weeks since I started Just doing it and not wait, I have been doing things at the right time rather than leaving it till later. This includes doing things around my house and I discovered I have become lazy over time. I have been leaving my ironing, tidying up, cleaning up till later; I don’t know when this happened but my home is no longer up to the standard I had in mind for it to be. This attitude has filtered into other aspects of my life as well. My Spiritual life, my work!

After a week of Just doing it! and PDSAing my goals, I was on a high, I had a sense of achievement and fulfilment. By the end of the second week the  sense of euphoria had gone down, I started feeling tired and furstrated. I wanted to give up and I started missing  the more “relaxed” life I had before.

I still feel like giving up. But I keep thinking, I don't want to go back to the way I was before... I prefer being a goal setter, an achiever, I prefer not being lazy! I prefer this me to the way I was before. I cant give up now. I deserve to give myself the chance to be a better person, to achieve higher than I was before, so I can’t give up now.

Yesterday, I suffered another set back, my husband and I were refused something we had applied for. It had seemed so certain but then we didn’t get it. Though it is by no means the end of the world, it made me feel even more discouraged, but I keep thinking I just cant give up now. I read this in the bible today that has strengthened me

Romans 12: 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Some other versions of the bible say in verse 11, “Never be lazy”. There it is! Even the bible is telling me I cant go back to being lazy, so I cant give up now.

I might not be feeling  as confident as I was about being able to keep on doing it, but I have decided not to give up because I prefer being the person I am now, which is much better than I was before. Maybe that's part of the problem, my confidence has been in myself rather than in God. Its good to have plans and lofty ideas, but without God they tend to come to nothing.

I am still going to Just do it and not give up but I am going to rely more on God to strengthen me and help me to keep on. And with God’s help, I will continue and not give up!