Learning from the mouth of babes

My son who is 5, resumed the Spring term this year on 3rd January. By the end of three weeks he had gone through three  pairs of gloves and the last straw for me was when he lost the second pair of the two different pairs he had been wearing. Needless to say he had some telling off and another lecture from Mummy about the importance of taking care of your things and how to keep you gloves safe. About a week later, I lost a pair of one of my gloves and I felt humbled.

Lesson no 1: It can happen to anyone, don't feel superior and be sensitive to other peoples weaknesses

I went on a ropes course last year, you know one of those ropes things that you walk or climb through the tricky fist part and then swing down like Tarzan on the last course as a compensation for all the trauma of the earlier trails. It was fun, in the end, but when I first stepped on the rope it was very high up in a tree and I was really scared, I wanted to scream like a banshee goat and run as fast as I could back to my room. That experience reminded me then of when my son was trying to get to the top of the climbing frame in the park and I was "encouraging" him to just take that one step and he would get to the top. The boy was scared and having gone through something similar I now realize I wasn't sensitive enough to his fears at that time.

Lesson no 2: Put yourself in other peoples shoes you might realize how uncomfortable it is.

Sometimes when my son gets told off he starts to cry and the last time he was actually wailing uncontrollably. I always felt it was just self pity and I wasn't always sympathetic. Yesterday, I had a series of "tell offs" from different people that culminated into a final tell off from someone very close and important to me. I felt very low, worthless and guess what; I started to cry, and I did for a while. And this taught me the latest of my lessons in terms of dealing with my son.

When I got told off, I was full of remorse and yes, the crying was a form of self pity. At that time I felt discouraged that all my effort to be a better person, to improve in that situation has come to naught. I felt worthless, and a burden to the ones that love me and depend on me because I am not living up to their expectations. I felt lonely and tired and I wanted to give up. So I gave in to self pity and weeping from the bottom of my soul. I did this for a while, but in the end, all I wanted was for someone to reassure me that I am still a good person, a loved person and that we do make mistake sometimes but we need to move on and try better the next. I needed the reassurance that even though I failed this time I can succeed next time and that no matter what I am loved and a worthy individual.

At that time I felt like the lowest of the lowest and I gave in to self pity if you like. I started to think of all my recent efforts to improve and now it felt like I was back to square one. I didn't know how to go on, because I really want to be that better person and I thought I was getting better and I had been putting all my effort into it. In the end I calmed down and was able to think a bit more rationally. I had some understanding of how my son feels after being told off

My final lesson most of all was that after this bout of remorseful crying, what I needed most was reassurance and love not more condemnation. Reassurance that I am a worthwhile person and not a lost cause, that I am loved no matter what I do and that even though I failed this time I still have what it takes to be the best that God wants me to be.